This Charmless Man


Nicholas Parsons : The Straight Man (autobiography 1994) Mark Lawson Meets Nicholas Parsons (BBC 4)

Nudged together because, although more than twenty years seperate them, they are connected by the overweening ego and vanity of the subject.

Lawson started his interview with "You were born in 1923" at which Parsons interrupted him "typical journalist, stressing my age".

And this was the tone of the whole programme. No matter what small caveat Lawson attempted to raise Parsons was quick to blame others or claim it was part of some overall masterplan or blame the press for misrepresenting events.

Both in the book and in interview every step of Parsons' life has been carefully considered, a massive success and responsible for changing the face of British popular culture.

His self-belief knows no bounds : "I made Sale Of The Century the most popular programme on British television", "poor old Arthur Haynes - his career was finished once we seperated", "I made the part of the narrator in The Rocky Horror Show my own. Every stage version since is based on my creation."

And so it went on : a half hour one-on-one interview with a light entertainment celebrity shouldn't have you squirming in your chair with embarassment or viewing with your hands glued to your face in a Munch like scream, but this one did.

Even when Lawson attempted to suggest that Parsons' TV image was that of a bland everyman he was at once on the ultra-defensive "I'm a trained actor (he almost said "luvvie" I swear) I was playing a part."

The book's exactly the same for page after ego driven page : every first night is a rave review, every TV show a moribund failure until Nick sprinkles his magic on it, every joke he tells is world class and reduces the audience to vapour.

As examples of a rampaging ego totally without doubt these are object lessons. It's a shame that Parsons isn't able to see himself as the small, utterly disposable player in the big picture. It's more of a shame that I wasted three hours watching the programme and reading the book.